viernes, marzo 04, 2005

Drama Queen

I feel so frustrated. I feel so horrible, like I'm the meanest, most horrible person in the whole world.

We had the production yesterday. I felt so nervous, with homicidal bees on my stomach. A part of me felt that way, and the other felt assured things would go all right. We practiced this for several weeks, heck, even two months. And as we prayed, I felt this blanket of peace enveloping me, and I calmed down for thirty seconds.

It started out well, except that a few people commented that Fiona was talking too fast. Fiona is the narrator, who has the most speaking lines. I actually admire her voice because it sounds so nice, even though she tends to cough at times. And then towards the end, IT happened.

What COULD HAVE HAPPENED to a play where so many hours were used to almost-perfectionalize it (Huh?)? Okay, our stage manager Kimi and the musical scorer Faye got distracted, and they changed one of the CDs too late. After the "Minahal mo ba ako?" scene, THE MOST DRAMATIC PART OF THE PLAY, the wrong sound effect got aired on. All of a sudden, all these sound effects came out, causing the audience to laugh. It wasn't just Fiona who tried not to laugh, but she did. Everything fell apart.

Okay, so I did laugh. But I dropped to the floor and started crying then. Almost all of us were crying, me, Pearl, Kimi, Faye, Meg, Fiona, Chai, Dixie... All of us were on the floor. It totally hurt and frustrated us. Imagine all those hours, those free weekends when we could just be at home or out at the mall.

Miss Jumillier talked to us after she shooed the rest of the class out of the AVR. She gave us her comments, that she really, really loved our story and she was recommending it to others. She loved nearly everything about it. She told us the good points. And she gave us another chance, the week after exams. Now, I don't know if she was doing this out of pity (Heck, the bloodshot eyes told it all), but for a teacher like Miss Jumillier, it was really nice of her to do so. This time, we're going to a studio.

The whole group is not blaming anyone at all, but I do feel guilty. See, I had burned the wrong sound effect wrong on the CD and I didn't realize it. And it wasn't a rewritable CD. If I had burned the right one, I would have saved Kimi Bee from CD changing.

If I weren't so damn lazy and careless, I could have burned the right effect. If I'd been paying attention, I would have saved the entire production. I guess it all points down to little me.

I hate this.